Freakin' Lawyers

The Stella Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck, who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous and ridiculous, yet successful, lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:

7th Place
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle when she tripped over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering that the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

6th Place
Nineteen-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners' insurance company, claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

This is close to being the worst. Not sure how it ended up only 5th.

4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbors' beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owners' fenced yard. The award was less than originally sought, because the jury felt that the dog might have been just a tad provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and shot it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies' room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand-new, 32-foot-long Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game -- having driven onto the freeway -- she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do that. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed its manuals on the basis of this lawsuit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Definitely time to change the name of these awards to the Merv Awards.

Dead Week Procrastination

I can't believe I am preparing for my first final exam since March 2000. No classes this week, so it's all about reviewing, outlining, doing hypotheticals, and procrastinating a lot in between.

Mostly my procrastination revolves around sports. I'm reading about the return of Scott Niedermayer to the Ducks, hopefully catapulting them back to contender status for back-to-back Stanley Cups. Colt Brennan is a Heisman finalist, which has made Gina very happy. My fantasy team is in contention for the championship. Mitch Johnson still sucks. The US finally won Davis Cup, led by the Bryan Bros.

I'm also playing Facebook poker, and I don't understand how you guys managed the emotional swings while playing with real money. I can barely handle playing with the fake stuff.

Any early reviews on I Am Legend? I'm intrigued. I'm definitely looking forward to The Golden Compass.

Ah, YouTube. Always a reliable outlet for procrastination. This video strikes a bit too close to home, on many levels, but it makes it all the more funny.



Okay, back to my federal rules of civil procedure! Rule 20, permissive joinder... it's a party!

A Great Weekend of Football!

This was the best weekend of sports! Let me recount.

1) University of Hawaii football: BCS, undefeated, WAC champs. I've grown up following UH football, and the program has had its ups and downs. But I never dreamed that we would make a BCS bowl game and possibly have a Heisman candidate! Thankfully, I've been able to enjoy a lot of the games this year and even got to see the team play at SJSU. We beat UW this past weekend to go undefeated. The win was especially sweet because I don't like Tyrone Willingham, and a particular "dawg" med school classmate of mine, who shall go unnamed, talked a lot of smack before the game!



Tailgating before the game...


Too much food- not your typical tailgate food :)




Tyronne and June talking before the game


The ha'a, Hawaiian chant, performed pre- and post-game.

My father was in a local news clip: http://kgmb9.com/main/content/view/2210/148/

2) Sorry, but winning the axe came in a close second. I was able to watch the first half of the game at Priscilla's, Cal friend's house, before the University of Hawaii game. I figured we won when Priscilla didn't call me back with the final score!


3) Iolani, my high school, won Division II Football!

We Got The Axe!!!

I'm going to enjoy walking into my review session on Monday sporting Stanford gear. We got the axe, BABY!!!

What an experience. For one thing, it was great to finally see the new lady sold out and packed.



And I had a great view of it all from the pressbox, where I helped Frost call the game.



Randy took this shot of the box from the opposite stands. It's a bit dark at this size, but you can see me in the top box, fifth from the left, wearing the white shirt and headset. Frost is the next one over.



It's hard to capture in words the joy of the players, many of whom had waited five years for this. This is why they say a picture is worth a thousand words.



The same goes for the students.



And it had been a while for us, too. :)



Finally, back where it belongs!



Scoreboard!



And to cap off a perfect night, a perfect regular season for Hawaii, sending them to a BCS bowl. Sugar Bowl vs. Georgia, perhaps? We'll find out soon. For Stanford, they just won their bowl game.